Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
