Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
