Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
