he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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