He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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