Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just fell off a train. Bad.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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