I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize