im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
