Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
