What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You were trust falling into bushes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
