She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
