the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
