Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
this just has baby written all over it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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