her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize