and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
