My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
