So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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