Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
