Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
