so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
