If i come over, it means nothing
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
