I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
