Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
