what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
