Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i now understand why vodka
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
