Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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