i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize