I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
