I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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