I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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