if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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