was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
