fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
