when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
