if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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