never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
