I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
