i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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