I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize