The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
