Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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