Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
