Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
