Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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