My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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