Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
