At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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