Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
