u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
