Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize