I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
