So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The power of my boobs compel you
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
