dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
