I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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