its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You ruined the universe
Randomize
