Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
