maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so let's talk penis.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
