i may or may not be watching the land before time
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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