I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
